Why I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions.
They came for me every year. They nagged me, preyed on my insecurities, told me what I needed to do to be better. All the advertisements, media, well intended family and friends bombarded me with:
“JOIN OUR GROUP!”
“START THE YEAR OFF RIGHT”
“THE NEW YOU BEGINS HERE!”
“LET US HELP YOU REACH YOUR GOALS”
“KICK START YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION!”
“WANT TO DO (insert task here), CONTACT US TO DAY”
Loud, obnoxious, intrusive. Always claiming to fix whatever it was about me that didn’t meet societies expectations:
“LOOK BETTER IN A BIKINI BY SUMMER”
“BE MORE FOCUSED”
“LOOSE WEIGHT”
Or worse, the added pressures of the positive ones:
“GO ON ONE LUNCH DATE A WEEK”
“READ A BOOK A MONTH”
“SPEND MORE TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY”
And, as the year went on and the old-new year got further away and the new-new year started creeping up, my resolutions were nowhere in sight. All the unnecessarily added pressures to start the new year off right and the only thing I started the year off with was anxiety.
But anxiety was only the beginning. Failure and disappointment, and everything that they bring along also crept in. Months went by and nothing was accomplished. No changes could be seen. I wasn’t resolved to do anything. Procrastination also haunted me. I put off things that I wanted to work on till the new year instead of doing them when I was ready to change. Motivation doesn’t stick around forever; and when it leaves depression settles in.
Then it happened. I decided one new moment to do something, I was resolved to do it and I wasn’t going to wait months for the new year. And this time it was different. No loud, obnoxious, intrusive marketing to pressure me. Just me, my resolve, and what little motivation depression made room for. And as time went by, the old-new year faded further and further away, and the new-new year wasn’t even a thought, I didn’t feel the pressures that I had felt in the past. Instead, I felt the joy of accomplishment and achievement. The new year came and went, and took anxiety with it.
Now I don’t wait for the “new me” to arrive at the ball drop, because when I did, I dropped the ball every time. To tell the whole truth, I don’t even look for the “new me” at all. It was always a lie, she never existed, well at least not on the other side of a clock tick. She was with me all along. Not “new”, just me. And I’m learning to love her all year long, listening to what she needs, and doing what she wants when she wants it.
Happy New Moment!
The Crow's Pearl 